My name is Steven Seagal...that's right...Steven Seagal deputy sheriff

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

Ya know what I actually like Steven Seagal. Granted he isn't the best actor in the world and he basically plays the same character in every single movie he does but there is something refreshing almost about his sameness. It's like if you go to the video store and find a Seagal movie you know what you're going to expect: lightning fast martial arts fight scenes that are really over the top mixed with explosions and poor writing. That and I respect Seagal's ability to just not give a crap about what critics think and poke fun at himself when and if the time comes.

Another thing I respect about him is that he really is a jack of all trades. He's a writer, an actor, a black belt, a sensei, a producer, a director, a DAMN GOOD blues singer, a master guitar player, a philanthropist for countries in need and in his spare time a reserve Deputy Sheriff for Jefferson Parish Louisiana. For those of you who don't know Jefferson Parish is one of the WORST and crime ridden places in Louisiana. Most cops would dread having to work there and here comes Steven Seagal who works as a sheriff...for free. That's guts and that's ballsy. Then the show got announced. When I first heard about the show I laughed and wrote it off as a fake Cops ripoff. But when you actually sit down to watch the show it's pretty good.

SS:L brings a fresh new approach to the reality police officer show. Instead of just going from crime to crime for a half an hour instead they break it up into different themes for the episode. Sometimes the theme will be fixing the drug problems or educating the youth or training animals or firearms test ect. It's nice to see the show break up into these different themes to space out the crimes and also to show a different aspect of cops that we may not see on a regular basis.

One thing that happens usually whenever there is a crime is what I like to call "Seagal-vision" It's when the camera zooms in on a person and shows what happens in slow motion with a heart beat sound effect. This is usually preceded by Seagal looking inquisitively at something or someone. It's kind of a cool effect and it really does show how some cops have a sixth sense about crimes that may or may not be committed.

My only major gripe with the show is that most of the crimes are kind of over too soon or they let them get away too often. There really aren't that many chase scenes unless for a brief moment before capture. Also they let people go a little too often so you don't hear the lecture in the police cruiser you usually see with Cops. The only other problem I have is Seagal's incessant need to say "From my years of training in the martial arts" or "my training in the martial arts." I swear it should be a drinking game.

Overall SS:L is a pretty good cop show that is entertaining and fun to watch. It does have it's flaws and the season did end a little too soon for my taste (and I don't know if it's returning) but I looked forward to watching it every Wednesday and with the first season to be released on DVD soon I reccomend you at least give this one a look.

MY VERDICT: DvR

The spirits tell me your little pants are on fire.

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

When Psych first debuted I was pretty excited. The writing was fresh, the dialogue was witty and the acting was great. Plus seeing a guy pretend to be psychic and fool everyone into believing he IS one is pretty awesome. From the pilot I was hooked and needless to say I still enjoy this show to this day. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's now take a look at the beginning of what would become one of my favorite shows: the first season of Psych.

Psych is the story of Shawn Spencer. Shawn is a free spirited, womanizing, motorcycle riding, cynical, sarcastic son of a decorated police officer. Shawn loves get rich quick schemes but has always had one major hidden talent: his ability to notice things others can't. His powers of deduction along with his steel trap of a memory make him a great detective, even if he doesn't realize it. One day he gets interested in a police case and gets involved a LITTLE too much. One of the head detectives once him thrown in jail but in a last ditch effort Shawn says he is psychic and proves it him by telling the detective all about him. Shawn his noticing powers and impresses the police station. Shawn then grabs his best friend Gus, a medical sales rep and overall smart guy, and starts Psych, a psychic detective company that works with the police.

Every episode follows the same usual pattern. Someone is killed or goes missing and using sleuthing techniques, stealth, disguises and noticing powers, Shawn and Gus figure out who was killed or where the missing person was. The catch is he doesn't tell anyone and has a psychic "vision" that tells the police the answer. These are usually quite dramatic and elaborate and usually always catch the criminal.

The first season does have it's hitches that most rookie shows face, forgettable episodes, plot lines to nowhere and some character development episodes, but when Psych is good....it's really good. The first season shows how great the show will become and it certainly does not disappoint.

MY VERDICT: SEASON PASS

Now tell me that wasn't some impressive shit!

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

The term guilty pleasure seems to get thrown around a lot but when you think about it what is a guilty pleasure? If you look it up in the dictionary you will see a picture of John Travolta's character Charlie Wax from "From Paris with Love." Directed by Pierre Morel, the famous French director of District 13 and Taken, FPWL shows that even the dumbest most unoriginal plots can be made awesome with a quotable badass character and a lot of over the top action.

The plot is something we have all heard numerous times: Reese (Johnathan Rhys Myers) is a government operative whose job is mostly to plant bugs and switch license plates. He has a wonderful girlfriend Caroline who he lives with and overall a pretty good life. But Reese wants more. After getting engaged to Caroline he gets the assignment he always wanted: a special ops mission. His assignment? To drive around a foul mouthed mentally unstable American hitman named Charlie Wax (John Travolta). Wax is a total loose cannon who doesn't take any prisoners whatsoever while Reese is stuck cleaning up after his mess...and carrying his vase full of cocaine...But when things turn into a potential terrorist attack it's up to Reese and Wax to save the day.

From his first line Travolta owns the screen. Sporting earrings, a shaved head, a dyed goatee, a leather jacket and combat boots Travolta's Wax is a joy to watch. Every line gets funnier and funnier and he never stops. In between kicking ass he tries to "train" Reese to become a better agent and some of his "lessons" are hilarious to listen to. Lines like "When I tell you to shoot the f***er you shoot the f***er!" He even goes so far as to describe what MotherFu**er means! He is rude, crude, obscene and brilliant. Whether you like Travolta or not he is brilliant.

Which is interesting because the rest of the actors suck. Rhys Meyers is totally boring to watch and honestly the first ten minutes are a chore to sit through with one funny moment that I won't spoil. Kasia Smutniak who plays Caroline is monotone and boring and Richard Durden is boring as well. Until Travolta shows up the movie isn't that good. But once Travolta gets things started it's amazing. The action scenes are brilliant and well done and are so over the top that it's hard not to laugh at it's awesomeness.

Overall it's cheesy, over the top, poorly acted (besides Travolta) and predictable but at the end of the day it's a guilty pleasure that is a joy to watch and a great film to relieve stress with because you will be laughing and cheering the whole time. Give this film a shot.

MY VERDICT: OWN IT