Monday, December 7, 2009

We're going to need a lot more hemp before we're through

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

This should be enough proof right there. If you can sit through this with a straight face than power to ya.

But Reb Brown is here in his first starring role in a film. Too bad it had to be this one. Reb Brown is a B movie actor with a knack for yelling and screaming, having large muscles and an inablility to say cool catchphrases after he kills someone. He hasn't really made any good movies but some of them have become great cult classics. Well this is not one of them. I know Noah Antwiler (Spoony) loves this movie but it is a total waste of film only saved by HOW bad it is.

The story follows Yor, a prehistoric hunter who fights off dinasaurs and evil blue cavemen. When Pak (the village leader)'s daughter Kala is kidnapped by the blue cavemen, Yor sets out to find them. He finds her and commits a double mass genocide by killing all of the blue cavemen and accidently killing all the other kidnapped people from the village. Yor, after countless battles, arrives on an island only to find out that they are in the present and that there was a nuclear holocaust that ressurected the dinosaurs.

The films ends with the line "Yor returns to the primative tribes on the mainland. He is determined to use his superior knowledge (aka that this IS EARTH after boom boom) to prevent them from making the same mistakes as their forefathers. Will he succeed?"

That's it. The plot is paper thin and full of bad homages, horrible action sequences, crazy over the top music and a head scratchingly bad ending.

The only redeeming thing I can say about this movie is that it is short, its so bad its funny and the effects were decent for its time. Its one of those films that is long out of print but that you can find on youtube. But seriously, even for laughs, I don't reccomend seeing this movie. Its boring and laughably bad. Ive seen MST3K films better than this.


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