Friday, October 30, 2009

As my father always says, "na zdrowie!", to your health!

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

For some reason this movie just HAD to come out. You couldnt just leave the ending to the first one ambiguous you had to tell us EXACTLY what happened at the end of the first one. You even had to go and retell everything that happened in the first one. You then even had the gall to put Roger Bart in this movie in a role where he was really good but that was probably the only thing good about this movie.

I really hate the Hostel series. And dont try to persuade me otherwise. I HAVE watched these movies, no I do not have a weak stomach (Hello devout Saw fan) and I do GET it. I understand what this movie is trying to do. Its trying to show human brutality and how messed up we are as people. I understand its showing brutality in a way no film has dared to before. I get it. But when you make a movie that makes the entire Saw series look like Citizen Kane times six than you have a problem.

First off for a horror film there is an extreme lack of horror. There are NO scares in this movie, no cheap cheesy scares, no reveal scares, no jump scares and no music sting scares. There is nothing scary about this movie. The torture scenes are extremly brief and dont provide anything that is really disturbing or scary. They are cheesy, weak and rely on "how much blood can we put in a scene before its scary" tactics. This movie is actually quite boring. I dont care about any of the characters (except Roger Bart but Ill get to that) and there is nothing redeemable about anybody. When they die you actually say Good they Deserved It. I mean its just basically a boring travel sex comedy with the last 25 minutes being a snuff film. Its just not good.

Honestly the only thing that makes this movie even a little redeemable is Roger Bart. He plays Stuart, a family man who throughout the movie is trying to figure out whether he should go through with the killing. His friend is adamant, cocky and excited but Stuart is brooding and mopey. He struggles with his moral choices through this whole movie and you can see it. Its not until 20 minutes are left when you see a genuine Dr. Jekyl Mr Hyde kind of switcheroo and it is really freaky to see. Maybe its just because he is a great actor. But sadly he isnt in the movie for THAT long and you are really forced to see the slut, the brainy nerd and the rich girl run around Slovakia all day long.

I honestly think this movie shouldnt have been made. The first one shouldnt have been made either. But these movies were and with Halloween approaching I bet people are going to want to watch these now more than ever. All I can say is:


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