Monday, October 5, 2009

My god! Do we really suck or this guy really that good?

I need you to watch this

If you do not like this or think a movie consisting of soley this with no plot whatsoever than please switch to a different review NOW...I'll wait.

If you are still here HELLO I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will. I usually send this video to people who want to see this movie. Most of the time people think its a big opening so that they can slow down the plot for later. Here's a little newsflash about this movie: it never slows down. Its what the movie Crank should have been. This movie is one long action scene comprising of the most over the top possible kills and the most stylistic moves. But this movie ends up revolving around one thing: guns. Guns killed his family. He is a gun master who won gun tournaments. Paul Giamatti (clever and devious in this role) is a hitman who loves gun and compares his wife to a gun. They buy guns with food stamps, and use guns as a method of transportation. Its gun porn. Pure and simple.

But the actual plot it does have pretty much moves this hour and twenty minute gun porno along pretty nicely. Woman is pregnant. Woman gets hunted down. Guy saves woman. Woman has baby. Woman dies. Guy takes care of baby along with a russian prostitute. A hitman is trying to kill the baby. Hell breaks loose.

Thats the whole plot, take it or leave it. I watch Shoot em Up as a pallate cleanser. It is the most honest movie out there. Everything you need to know about the movie is up front in the titles. But despite the lack of story it does make up for in comedy. Everything in the movie is very serious but also very tounge in cheek. Its riddled with cheesy one liners and bad puns but the difference is this movie knows it and accepts it. It even uses it as a punchline. Considering the plot is basically killing a baby, ya gotta find humor somewhere or it will be black balled by the film community. If you want your film to succeed you cant kill babies or dogs. If you do either of those, Hollywood will shun you. Luckily the movie teases with the idea, almost as a middle finger to Hollywood but nothing bad ever happens.

Its like if Hard Boiled and Total Recall was cut down into 80 minutes, given cheesy one liners, Clive Owen and Paul Giamatti and done in a cheeky manner than you got Shoot Em Up, take it or leave it.


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