Friday, October 16, 2009

No you guys are nuts! I was meant to see this movie!

Hello Im the...wait havent I said this line before? Havent I said this line numerous times now? Huh...Deja Vu!

Oh no I wasnt talking about my catchphrase but this movie. No its not the pretty decent sci-fi thriller Denzel Washington did, its...another Final Destination? Okay I will admit I am a huge fan of the series. Maybe its because all four movies are a walking PSA for safety. Maybe its because (at least the first three) the death scenes are giant Rube Goldberg machines that you cant wait to see develop and when they do its awesome. Or maybe its because sex crazed, foul mouth little preps get blown to kingdom come. Either way the cash cow that keeps mooing decided to make another Final Destination named...Final Destination. No this is not the first one. Instead its taking a line from the Sly Stallone guide to naming movies and just adding a "the" or putting what the movie is in the title. We saw that with Rambo, Rocky Balboa, and also Fast and Furious (dropped the "the" from the first movie).

I will give this movie some credit. The 3-D aspect of the movie is great and it shows itself off in a creepy but not cheesy way. The ending and opening credits are great skeleton drawing designs with the opening credits showing most (or the most popular) deaths from the past movies. A nice homage I think. Along with the 3-D, this movie has got one other REALLY GOOD thing...Mykelti Williamson, most well known as Fearless in Boomtown and Bubba in Forrest Gump. He brings A List, dramatic, well thought out and well executed acting to an F of a movie. He just seems really out of place but its nice to see him in it. Otherwise the acting ranges from decent to "GOD I WANT TO LEAVE AND NEVER WATCH THIS MOVIE AGAIN!! (rampage)" Seriously there are some GOD AWFUL performances in this movie with extremly groan worthy puns that made me face palm.

Now that Ive gotten the good out of the way here is the bad: everything else. The story is a completly unoriginal carbon copy of the other movies. Literally the only thing they changed was instead of it being a car crash or a plane crash or a roller coaster from Hell, its a racetrack accident that implodes the stadium. Thats the only difference. At least the others had some creativity. They borrow so much from the other films that I feel like Id much rather watch them. In fact I will.

If you dont know the story its simple: Boy has visions of huge accident, saves a set number of people (11 in this one) while what he saw happens and one by one they all die according to Deaths order in really creative and elaborate accidents. Thats it, and for those who only want to see the movie for the death scenes (raises hand):

Chopped in Half
Burned up and exploded while attached to pick up
Rock through the eye
Pushed by a CO2 gas tank THROUGH a fence, dicing him
Sucked through a pool drainer with his guts exploding everywhere
Bathtub crushes him
Hit by bus
(dream sequence)
blows up while watching movie
sucked into an escalator and diced and flattened
(real world)
Hit by truck
Hit by truck
Hit by truck


Well that should save you 9.75 or a dvd rental fee. I just cant reccomend this one to ANYONE especially fans of the original.


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