Friday, October 30, 2009

I don't want a drink. I want to see some art! Now, can we go?

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

...This movie just sucks. I cant put it any other way. Its a giant tease that leads up to one kind of creepy moment and then a sucky tacked on unrealistic ending. Jay Hernandez provides some mediocre acting but everyone else's performance is weak, stiff and just not interesting.

Dont go into this movie thinking you will get the Saw-esque torture porn like horror film that this movie was sold as. It starts off almost promising with the credits showing blood stained walls and dark corridors while a man whistles a happy tune. But then we see a bright Amsterdam and three budies walking around. I had to check what I was watching to make sure I didnt switch to something else. But maybe this would go by quick and we'd get to what BRAVO called the scariest movie of all time. But then they started smoking pot, having sex, riding trains, getting drunk and walking around talking about the aformentioned things. And this goes on for 40 minutes. 40 out of the 90 minutes!! It feels more like a sex comedy in Germany than a horror movie. Its not until we see the famous achilles heel slashing scene from minute 41 to 46 that it starts to look like the real thing. Than it goes away until an hour and ten minutes when Hernandez's character Paxton is taken to the "factory". His "torture scene" lasts all of a few minutes with most of it being a long speech in german to his potential killer and then he just escapes. Yeah he gets chased and hunted down but he escapes scott free.


The ending is okay but okay shouldnt come with five minutes left in the movie! I mean its kind of cool the killer gets his just deserts but puh lease FIVE MINUTES LEFT?! Come on. Then he hops the train and the credits role.

This movie is just a huge letdown and a huge waste of my time. I really wish I had that hour and a half movie sucks.


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