Wednesday, June 23, 2010

You have no idea... how powerful madness can be.

Hello I am the movie encyclopedia and if no one else will see it, I will.

I just don't want to review this film. It's not as bad as Ghost Ship or Bloodrayne but it's just so painful to watch. King Burt Reynolds, wooden acting from all the actors, a sadly misused John Rhys-Davies, a miscast Ray Liotta, a terrible script, REALLY predictable lines (I mean I am sitting there saying them before they come out) terrible effects, creatures that look like Planet of the Apes rip offs, a bad story with a predictable and formulaic set up, and a total raping of the fantasy genre make this a film that is very hard to watch.
Basically Jason Statham is an everyman named Farmer. His village is attacked by evil creatures called Krugs which are run by an evil wizard with the help of his lackey Matthew Lillard...*cocks shotgun*. His son is killed, his wife is kidnapped and he teams up with a ragtag group of scalawags and soldiers and vows to take down the Krugs and the evil wizard and save the kingdom.

Yawn...I've seen it all before and everything I mentioned above didn't help it either. It rips off every good fantasy movie to the point of pure plagiarism and you could never tell, or at least barely tell, that this was based on a video game. A video game that wasn't very good.

It's just bad. Not worse movie ever bad but just poor all around. It's not even laugh worthy funny. Just skip this one.


1 comment:

  1. Abomination to Cinema

    The work of Uwe Boll

    Perhaps a new category is in order? Lifetime Unachievement award on its way? :)